I Have a Bad Feeling About This

Just stumbled into this one, being otherwise distracted by Sandy the SuperStormofDeath…

Disney bought Lucasfilm yesterday, since I guess they had $4 billion just laying around with nothing better to do. Star Wars, Episode VII: George Lucas’ Retirement Portfolio Strikes Back will be coming our way in 2015. Supposedly they’re also taking a hard look at the Indiana Jones franchise (which we probably should’ve seen coming when that insipid motormouth Shia LeBouffant showed up in Kingdom of the WhateverTheHellitWas).

Please, please, will someone stop this wanton destruction of my childhood memories?

One can only wonder what the merger of two entertainment titans could have in store for us. Disney’s penchant for pre-fab, corporate focus-grouped teen “stars” doesn’t leave me hopeful. My kids will surely notice if Clone Wars disappears from Cartoon Network only to get stuffed into the Disney Channel’s Bland-o-Matic formulaic meatgrinder to emerge as, I don’t know, Hannah Montana Meets the Ewoks.

Then again, the prequels were an all-you-can-eat feast of suckitude. Considering the damage Lucas has already done to his own creation, how much worse can it get?

Okay, now that’s pretty bad.

In the meantime, if DisneyLucas is looking for original stories that would make great movies, then allow me to make a suggestion.

The Amerikan Way

If you’ve never read Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism, you should consider doing so. Its controversy-inspiring title was itself inspired by an unlikely source. Remarking on the likelihood of tyranny coming to America, George Carlin said, “it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jackboots. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts. Smiley-smiley.”

True, dat.

Lest you think I’m trying on tin-foil hats again, consider the case of Buckyballs, which is an adult desk toy made of magnetic balls. And while you’re at it, quit laughing at the juxtaposition of “adult”, “toys”, and “balls” in the same sentence. I’m trying to be serious here. Really. Quit it. Continue reading “The Amerikan Way”

Not Again

So now you can’t even go to the movies without fear of some psychopath shooting up the place. I can’t begin to imagine the horror, or what the families are going through right now. One of the victims was a six-year-old.

Regardless of the wisdom of taking a young kid to a midnight movie, many wise fathers have told their sons, “nothing good happens after midnight”. There is so much to grieve and/or get pissed off over that it’s hard to know where to start. So let’s just start ticking ’em off as they bubble up through the old frontal lobes…

Like too many businesses, the theater had a strict “no weapons” policy. Which, in this case, worked out entirely as expected assuming one tries to understand the criminal mind. To wit: if someone enters a public place with the intent of doing mass murder, do you really think a sissy little “no weapons” sign is going to stop him? If this doesn’t illustrate the absurdity of such thinking, I don’t know what will.

But then again, who am I kidding? The usual hand-wringing pantywaists are already jumping on the gun control bandwagon. I’m looking at you, Piers Morgan. Please explain how the UK’s draconian anti-gun laws have demonstrably affected violent crime in your home country. Hint: it hasn’t been for the better. Unless you’re a bad guy, that is.

When or how does this “dangerous spiral” stop? When we get over our collective cultural fear of self-defense, that’s when.

Last year I did a couple months’ worth of Krav Maga training, which is an Israeli army martial-art form that looks an awful lot like MMA. Some of the things we learned were how to fight your way out of a flash mob, and how to disable an armed assailant. Neither are situations I’d want to find myself in.

But you know what that showed me? That the best defense against a gun is another gun. It’s an ugly fact, but so is mass murder.

Lest you think I’m just another knuckle-dragging 2nd Amendment nut, here’s an illustration of that principle in action from earlier this week. And while clearly justified, it’s also a cautionary tale of the responsibility gun carriers have to be alert and to control their adrenaline in any way possible.

Finally, we can always count on the one-party media to fall all over themselves as they attempt to link another mass shooting to the Tea Party. Because, you know, there can’t be that many people named “James Holmes” living in the Denver area – right?

Whoops. Looks like they pulled another Loughner boner. Sarah Palin, call your office…

So I guess we are to believe the vaunted ABC News operation was tripped up by “social media”? More like they threw away any sense of restraint in favor of taking the opportunity to smear conservatives. Again. It’s like they’re just waiting for the chance or something. What’s even worse is knowing that’s how they really look at us; that it’s inconceivable anyone could fundamentally disagree with their worldview and not be crazy.

What’s crazy is when they keep doing the same thing while expecting a different result. That kind of sloppy, agenda-driven “reporting” has blown up in their faces every single time – so why they expected this to go any better is beyond me.

Which brings us to the not-yet-final punchline to this horrible event: the suspect may even be a registered Democrat.

Not that it matters, no more so than the Occupiers who tried to blow up that bridge in Cleveland. Right?

But I’m just a blogger. Don’t take my word for it.

ATB! OMG! AOG! WTF? LOL…

Airbus A380 cutaway. Credit: FlightGlobal

A quick note for you text-addicts who don’t recognize aviation-speak: “ATB” means “air turn-back” and “AOG” is “airplane on ground”, otherwise known as “we broke it”.

So, a couple of the super-jumbo A380s had some problems recently. Yawn.

No one will ever mistake me for an Airbus apologist – if it ain’t Boeing, I ain’t going – but in all fairness to the Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys™, these incidents are not the big deals they’re being made out to be. And both are contingencies that we prepare and train pilots for (the wing cracks are another story entirely). Continue reading “ATB! OMG! AOG! WTF? LOL…”

Nothing to See Here, Move Along…

P.J. O’Rourke once wrote that “Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” Keeping that in mind, ever notice how all of the really scary news remains out of sight until it just can’t be concealed anymore? Then it all pops up at once like crabgrass in your back yard…

Like the huge new Big Brother-ish NSA data collection center. If it’s transmitted, they’ll not only read it; they’ll store it for future reference. Combined with the CIA’s excitement about spying on people through their TV sets (I mean, really…did they just flat lift the idea from 1984?). It makes you wonder if anything is truly private anymore. Continue reading “Nothing to See Here, Move Along…”

The Mask Finally Slips

…and the Left reveals their true intentions. Separately, any one of these stories would be just more dismaying evidence of the sorry state of our politics. But taken together, they paint a truly frightening picture:

Climate Changers Game Plan Revealed. Surprise: world domination! Worth considering when you read the ClimateGate 2.0 emails.

Obama’s True Convictions Revealed. Surprise: Marxism! Okay, so it’s not a surprise for anyone who’s actually been paying attention.

Occupy Wall Street’s Goal Revealed. Surprise: crush Capitalism!

Fast & Furious Objective Revealed. Surprise: gun control!

Democrats Abandon the Middle Class in favor of either extreme of the income-distribution curve: those who rely on government handouts and the very wealthy who supposedly pay for it all. In reality, all of us who actually work for a living are paying for it all. And our kids. And their kids…

And lest I forget, former SEIU thug-in-chief Andy Stern advocates for a Chinese Communist economic model in the Wall Street Journal, of all places. Before you dismiss that as having any relevance, don’t forget that the former head Purple People Beater has been the single most frequent visitor to the Obama White House.

At this point, it’d make perfect sense for Dr. Evil to surface off of Washington in his hidden submarine lair to demand one trillion dollars. And we would laugh collectively as Geithner and Bernanke happily roll up with a dump truck’s load of freshly-minted bills, as Dr. Evil certainly wouldn’t appreciate what a screw job they’d just given him.

After decades of hiding their true intentions, the radicals who’ve taken over the Democratic Party have finally dropped any pretense of hiding what they’re really all about. It’s a sign that they see this as the end game, all or nothing.

Well, thank God for that, however infuriating they may be. So bring it, you Commie pukes. And I mean that in the true sense of the word, as that’s the ideology you’ve aligned yourselves with. It’s nice that you’ve finally admitted to it. 2012 will be one of the most consequential elections in our history, equal to 1860 or 1932. It’s only fitting that we know what our choices are really going to be.

Of course, that assumes the Republicans get their collective act together and present us with an actual choice, and not just a less-scary version of what the Dims have been pushing since the Sixties. Hint: that probably won’t be coming from the Mittster.

News Team, Assemble!

Well then. Here’s something you don’t see every day:

Ohioan, 94, wakes up to blimp that landed in yard

I would say that I somehow missed this story amongst the breathless tales of traffic accidents, drug deals gone wrong, and can’t-live-without health tips from our local evening news. Which is, come to think of it, exactly why I missed this story.

I just don’t watch the local news that much for all of the above reasons. We live near Columbus, which you may recall is the state capital of Ohio (unless you went to public school, in which case the answer is “C”). It’s also where “The” Ohio State University is located.

Being so close to a hub of such vitally important activity, with the potential to affect every citizen of our fair state, you’d think the local news would devote more attention to the goings-on within. If they did, we’d have known about the football team’s shenanigans and the coach’s willfull neglect of same long before the NCAA and Sports Illustrated twigged to it.

Oh, wait a minute. You thought I was talking about goings-on in the statehouse? Silly you. Based on the time devoted by our local press, you could be forgiven for thinking the Buckeyes are more important.

Which is another reason why I don’t pay much attention to the local talking heads. They’ve had their noses so far up OSU’s butt for so long, if Jim Tressel ever came to a sudden stop he’d need surgery to remove all of the overpriced haircuts from his lower intestine.

Of course, the bloom’s off that rose now but I still like the imagery.

Though I tend to ignore the local blowhards, I’m a current events junkie because so much (too much) of what happens inside of our legislatures has a direct impact on our personal lives.

Take Ohio’s Senate Bill 5. Please (ba-dum-dum).This was, is, and will continue to be the subject of heated debate. It’s our own version of Wisconsin’s collective-bargaining reform, which you may recall was the cause of some consternation in Madison last winter. SB5 has made things pretty ugly here in Ohio, though not nearly as intensely.

That’s probably because Ohio allows us to challenge legislation we don’t like through referendums, so the unions figured they were better off taking this to the ballot box instead of making fools of themselves on the statehouse grounds (which they did anyway, but again not as badly as the Wisconsin goons).

My opinion on the law is probably self-evident: I’m for it. Not because I’m a Scrooge who thinks teachers should make minimum wage, or firemen should be relegated to bucket brigades, or cops should be reduced to bullet-in-the-pocket Barney Fifes. Although listening to the unions, it appears that’s what they believe is in store for their membership if SB5 stands.

We’ve reached a point of diminishing return, accelerated by a bad economy. Those who serve the public can no longer expect benefits that aren’t enjoyed by the people who fund their paychecks. The money’s just not there anymore. Out here in the private sector, most of us have suffered three years of pay freezes, if not outright cuts, while our health insurance premiums go up year after year.

The unions may have to accept that the real benefit (besides a paycheck) that they’ll get from their jobs comes from personal satisfaction. I’ve always thought that was hugely important for teachers, cops, and firefighters; maybe not so much for Patty and Selma at the DMV.

There’s a great deal more to SB5, some of which I disagree with. But to expect the rest of us to fund benefit packages at a level we’ve never enjoyed is frankly obscene.

So what does any of this have to do with local news? Well, I just spent a couple hundred words describing a thorny issue that will affect everyone living in my state. My position and rationale should be quite clear to anyone who can read and understand English. Hopefully the underlying issues are equally clear.

Do you think the TV stations are talking about that? Think hard.

Ding! Time’s up.

The painfully small amount of attention they’ve devoted to this very big deal, in comparison to otherwise trivial events, is almost criminal. And when they do discuss it, it’s almost always about the “controversy” and little else. We all get why the unions are pissed. That’s extremely well understood. But a little more explanation of the actual issues, budget realities, and the consequences of our choices would be appreciated.

Keep it classy, San Diego…err, Columbus.

NOTE: This has been edited from a much larger, bloated, and meandering post. I’m no Hunter S. Thompson, thank goodness.