I Have a Bad Feeling About This

Just stumbled into this one, being otherwise distracted by Sandy the SuperStormofDeath…

Disney bought Lucasfilm yesterday, since I guess they had $4 billion just laying around with nothing better to do. Star Wars, Episode VII: George Lucas’ Retirement Portfolio Strikes Back will be coming our way in 2015. Supposedly they’re also taking a hard look at the Indiana Jones franchise (which we probably should’ve seen coming when that insipid motormouth Shia LeBouffant showed up in Kingdom of the WhateverTheHellitWas).

Please, please, will someone stop this wanton destruction of my childhood memories?

One can only wonder what the merger of two entertainment titans could have in store for us. Disney’s penchant for pre-fab, corporate focus-grouped teen “stars” doesn’t leave me hopeful. My kids will surely notice if Clone Wars disappears from Cartoon Network only to get stuffed into the Disney Channel’s Bland-o-Matic formulaic meatgrinder to emerge as, I don’t know, Hannah Montana Meets the Ewoks.

Then again, the prequels were an all-you-can-eat feast of suckitude. Considering the damage Lucas has already done to his own creation, how much worse can it get?

Okay, now that’s pretty bad.

In the meantime, if DisneyLucas is looking for original stories that would make great movies, then allow me to make a suggestion.