Zombie Apocalypse – The Chiles Files

They’re baaack…

Impending zombie apocalypse stories abound in the news this week after that face-eating freak show in Miami.

What does this mean? An unbelievably good excuse to buy more shootin’ gear, just in time for Father’s Day! I mean, really, could the timing be any better?

Firearms are, of course, useless without ammo. Luckily, Hornady has been pimping their “zombie max” line of hollow points for a few months now. Almost like they knew this day would arrive. No word on similar promos from the Twinkies people.

As a great man once said, “Thank God for rednecks!”

And I’ll need bacon. Lots and lots of bacon. Good thing they make it tactical style in a peel-off bulk can.

The final nail in the coffin -ahem – CDC duly denies an imminent zombie outbreak. Of course they would – that’s how civilization-killing plagues always start, don’t ya know?

Time to face facts: The Walking Dead isn’t just a TV show, it’s a training film.

Or a clever marketing gimmick…

The Zombie Apocalypse has begun! Patient Zero appeared yesterday in Miami. Here’s a choice quote from the USA Today story:

Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon a naked man mauling the other man. The newspaper quoted witnesses as saying that the officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he ignored the demand, the officer shot him. Witnesses said that the naked man continued his attack after being shot once, and the officer shot him several more times.

More here. No word on whether it required a head shot to bring him down. Because we all know it has to be a head shot for zombies.

Hope everyone’s stocked up on hollow points and Twinkies, ’cause it looks like it’s time to nut up or shut up.